Adam Ace noticed that it had become very popular with celebrities and performers to do blogs on their websites in which they tell you in great detail about their life. As to not be left out he has decided to jump aboard. Unfortunately he doesn’t type very fast so his blog entries will be very limited. You can check out the archived blogs below. Enjoy!!!
Happy New Year! My New Year’s Resolution is to blog more.
So much for that New Years Resolution.
Valentines Day is a busy day for a guy in a red suit. Everybody wants a piece of the big red love machine.
I am doing my shopping for next Valentines Day now because you can get stuff for 50% off. I hope my girlfriend next year likes the shirt that I got her that says “Happy Valentines Day 2009”
I have entered myself into rehab. Rehab to help cure myself of my addiction to Cottage Cheese. It is out of control. I have a problem. Just to be clear though, it is not the kind of cottage cheese on the back of women’s thighs, it is the kind that you put on bagels.
The after effects of going into Rehab for my cottage cheese addiction have caused me to lose my passion for blogging.
I have decided that the blogging thing is way over rated and I am now going to recommit all of my time I used to use on blogging to my true passion……scrapbooking!
I have been advised by my doctors I need to take a break from scrapbooking as I am in the early stages of carpel tunnel, they have allowed me however to blog once
in a while.
Not much happened today.
Got a paper cut as I was signing autographs after my show.
Went to get a haircut. Wanted a weave or dreadlocks and they wouldn’t do either because I didnt have enough hair.
Had the day off. Decided to try yoga. Will never try that again.
Went to an orphanage to volunteer to do some work with the kids. They turned me down.
Had dinner at Chili’s. The waitress asked me what I wanted to order. I said “I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, I want my baby back baby back baby back,
Chili’s Baby Back Ribs!!” She was not amused.
Spent the day at the mall shopping for a new leotard. When the salesperson asked me who it was for, I said “a girl I know who is the exact same size as me”. I don’t think he believed me.
Looked in the mirror for an hour and a half today repeating the line “I am the big red love machine and the ladies love me” over and over again.
Put a dollar in a soda machine and hit the Coke button and it gave me sprite. I hate that.
Did a show. People Laughed. Nice.
Had a great show and then afterwards was attacked by a midget, sorry, little person. That is the same mistake I made during the show.
I went and bought a new fanny pack today. Fanny Packs rule!!!!
Woke up and decided I wanted to change careers and become an algebra teacher, then realized I don’t know how to do algebra and decided to stick with being a comedian.
Went on a date today. With a girl !!!!!!!!!!!
Burnt myself on the curling iron today. It is a lot harder to curl armpit hair than I thought.
I got a zit today. I bought it at the store, it used to belong to a guy named Zach.
Thought about trying internet dating today. But then decided that I really didnt want to date the internet. I’m just not much into computers.
Overslept and missed my flight. Had to hire a hot air ballon to take me to my show.
Did a show, got some laughs, went to Taco Bell. A perfect day.
Got attacked by a rabid monkey after my show who mistook me for a large bananna.
I shaved my chest hair today into the words “I KNOW” so that now when I look in the mirror and say “You are sexy!” it will be like my body is responding to me by saying “I KNOW.”
Thinking about trying to clone myself so that I can do more shows for all of the fans out there
Heard back from the cloning people, it would be very expensive, plus they said there was no way they could replicate my cracking voice. Oh well.
Did a show for people who didnt speak english, they still laughed at me but I think for the wrong reasons.
Lost my cell phone.
Found my cell phone, it had accidentally fallen in my underpants. If I changed my underpants more than every other day I would have
found it sooner.
Accidentally called a girl “Fatty McFatterson”, she punched me in the face.
Got offered to do some modeling for fruit of the loom, they wanted me to be the guy in the grapes costume.
Did a show for 19 people tonight but they were laughing so loud it sounded like there were 37 people there. It was awesome.
Signed some autographs after the show tonight, well, I filled out a police report, but I had to sign it, and it was after the show, so it still counts.
Someone asked me why the ladies call me “The Big Red Love Machine” and I said “because I am big, I am red and I am a love machine baby!!”
Walked out of my hotel to go to my show and a bunch of kids complimented me on my halloween costume. I then told them that I wear a red suit, leotard and thong
all the time. They laughed and then ran away.
I had to tell a bit of a lie and let all of the girls know that I couldnt be with them on Thanksgiving because I was called away to do a show for the people of Botswana because they are in need of laughter. I think they bought it and I think it helped that none of them had ever heard of Botswana.
Not much else happened this month, Christmas is coming and all that stuff. I am preparing for the onslaught of gifts from all the ladies. That will occupy most of my time so I will check back in next year.